Mixed picutes

My emotional and physical journey of exploring my sexually started during puberty. School programs teach the basics about sexual orientation but they never explain how to handle things when your not completely heterosexual. This is what I'm experiencing.

Guys rarely interest me in a sexual manner. When I'm around a girl I automatically feel that sexual energy flow through me. The feeling of your heart beating, nervousness, the tingling feeling you get down there, etc. These feelings thrill me and just the thought of doing something with a girl excites me. All these emotions mixed together give off a wonderful vibe. It feels like your on a cloud, so amazing and wonderful when felt but to actually explain your orientation to someone else is terrifying.























Overall, my feelings towards girls have intensified 10X in the last year and guys are in all truthfulness out of the picture. I'm just afraid to label myself. When I come out to people I don't like to brand myself a certain orientation. I want my freedom to learn, to grow, and to experiment.

I find that coming out to someone that I truly care about and love is the hardest. The first family member I have come out to is my cousin. I wrote an email to her one day ago explaining my feelings. I hope to god she loves me for being myself.

My advice to anyone else. Discovering your true orientation is not easy but having the freedom to experiment is a gift. Being 15 this is the age where I slowly want to try new things and to find out who I want and what I want. To anyone I come out to I'm willing to give them the time to adjust. Give them the same freedom. I wouldn't trade these feelings for anything else in the world. The excitement is actually not knowing and just learning is a big thrill and through experimentation you can learn alot about yourself.

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